I look at the people passing by
My eyes tired and ancient
I have lived a lot of births in this birth
I have heard so much from everyone
I have the pain inside of me
I die a thousand deaths when I am judged
I try to hold on even when nothing feels worth it
I smile even at the smallest things
I like when my eyes sparkle
I look in the mirror and see them dead
I check my heart to hear it beat
I know it then, I am still alive
I lost my smile somewhere on the way
It took a second to lose it when ages to gain
I look at the world
I see the people passing by
I wonder why I asked someone to stop by
When in reality I have nothing to give
Wanting without giving is pure selfish
Why didn’t I let go when it got there
I wanted something more than I deserve
I thought I deserved more than I want
Why do words hurt even when they mean nothing
Why do I die so much within
I don’t like sharing my thoughts
But sometimes the words come without
I know not how to break the ice
I feel cold and numb within
I long to feel the warmth of life
I feel I am dead even when alive….
57 Responses
Life is all about ups and downs
Ok
Feeling so sad for the soul !
Yes
I can feel it
I understand
Shalini, this is something beautiful and of very high standard. I am always amazed than impressed by the skills and ability displayed by you making me an ardent follower
Thank you Kurian. Some days some times some words just come…
👍
Reblogged this on Die Erste Eslarner Zeitung – Aus und über Eslarn, sowie die bayerisch-tschechische Region!.
Beautiful write-up Shalini, having said that, life need not be that way. There is a solution for everything. But most often we look for a solution without altering other “underlying parameters.” This is why whatever we try ‘fails’ repeatedly. When things fail, again and again, we must look into these parameters of the problem. We MUST try to change them and try again, it’s gonna be ok. Stay strong and it’s your life, you need to find a way whatever ‘parameter’ affecting it. Believe me, life is beautiful out there.. Do that change, you will find the happiness..
BTW “I have lived a lot of births in this birth” — Beautiful line!
Hey, Raj.. Thank you so much. You are right.. I need to think about what you have said
It’s a very beautiful poem!😊
Thank you so much
Nice
Thank you
Oh wow..you are so good at writing your thoughts…you should write more often…loved it…very nice.
Thank you… It is only some days the words hit me, most days I sit blankly in front of computer… Thanks again
Haha..may be u should take a break and go somewhere at quiet place. This is just a thought.not sure it works with u or not..but would love to see more you….
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Haha no I write when emotions hit me hard, then words come out automatically…
Good to know….:)
Wow…so true and with feelings… impressive…it is filled with emotions…keep writing!!
Thank you, some days some words come
We all are grateful for those days.
Awww… I am not… Because this came from an area of pain… But still.. The words came I had to write it
Pain will always be there….it is what reminds us that we are human…but along with it comes the natural instinct to bear it, fight it and overcome it….you came a long way from that pain…now there are only shadows from the pain…they will go too.
I know… Still I don’t like writing in pain…
Still better to write to feel better..than not….. you must have felt a little lighter after having scribbled it all down…i am sure….and also its a process…it will happen…believe it!
And somehow, this somehow has come out well. I just read it again
I like the like…”i wonder why i asked people to stop by”…its very good.
Thank you…. As I said, I don’t know what I wrote at that time. I generally don’t publish I keep it in draft and delete later. But this I forgot to put the setting. It got published
Its good that it did…please try to publish more draft posts.
Hahaha I will thanks
Such emotion you expressed in your poem, sad but real.
Thank you so much for reading… Some days words come from my heart. I was very sad that day….
I’ve nominated you for the versatile blogger award…Kindly check my recent post
Thank you but I rarely do the awards… I have a lot pending awards but somehow I am too slow in writing
No problem but I feel like so I nominated you🙂
How sweet… I am pretty bad in awards…
That’s okay…💖
Thank you Riya for understanding
Almost felt it with the words.
A lovely write up.
Thank you so much for your kind words. Just some days words happen to come and I write
I am getting a connection to what you commented in my blog on truth….
Yes Akhila, very perceptive of you. Everything is connected, I am hoping the truth uplifts me and does not destroy me…
I am also holding that hope thread now, awaiting for uplifting by the truth
Truth destroys sometimes… But this is a cross I have to bear till I start healing. Such is life
I lost my smile somewhere on the way. Totally loved it.
Aww thank you… That was a bad day, my Jeni girl when those words came
Writers write their best when they are in pain. I had felt on my own and I can see it in your writing too. Be happy for that day is over. 😊
I am happy that day made me write, I wrote in an unconscious way without being aware… I read after a couple of days when people said it is good
It is. Gudnyt mam.
I am shalini Jeni girl… Always Shalini to you
“lived a lot of births in this birth” Deep :’)
Awww… That came from a place of deep pain.. My soul was broken… 😢
I am sorry to hear that.. We are humans. We are broken at some point on our lyfs. :'( I wish I could help you in anyway. 🙂
Aww… Thank you so much… That’s really kind of you